Rotherham Family

Close your eyes and go back in time...

Before the Internet...

Before semi-automatics, joy-riders and crack....

Before SEGA or Super Nintendo...

Way back........

I'm talking about Hide and Seek in the park.
The corner shop,
Hopscotch,
Butterscotch,
Skipping,
Handstands,
Football with an old can,
Fingerbob.

Beano, Dandy, Buster, Twinkle and Dennis the Menace.

Roly-Poly.
Hula Hoops, jumping the stream, building dams.
The smell of the sun and fresh cut grass.
Bazooka Joe bubble gum.

An ice cream cone, on a warm summer night from the van that plays a
tune.
Chocolate or vanilla or strawberry or maybe Neapolitan or perhaps
screwball.

Wait......

Watching Saturday morning cartoons, short commercials or the flicks.
Children's Film Foundation, The Double Deckers, Red Hand Gang, Tomorrow
People, Tiswas or Swapshop?, and 'Why Don't You'? - or staying up for
Doctor Who.

When around the corner seemed far away and going into town seemed like
going somewhere.

Earwigs, wasps, stinging nettles and bee stings.
Sticky fingers.
Playing Marbles. Ball bearings. Big 'uns and Little 'uns.
Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, and Zorro.
Climbing trees.
Making igloos out of snow banks.

Walking to school, no matter what the weather.
Running till you were out of breath, laughing so hard that your stomach
hurt.
Jumping on the bed. Pillow fights.
Spinning around on roundabouts, getting dizzy and falling down was cause
for giggles.
Being tired from playing....remember that?

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.
Football cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.
Choppers and Grifters.

Eating raw jelly. Orange squash ice pops. Vimto and Jubbly lollies

Remember when...

There were two types of trainers - girls and boys, and Dunlop Green
Flash The only time you wore them at School was for P.E.
And they were called gym shoes or if you are older - plimsoles .... or
daps..

You knew everyone in your street - and so did your parents.
It wasn't odd to have two or three 'best' friends.

You didn't sleep a wink on Christmas Eve.

When 25p was decent pocket money ...... but we called them shillings
Curly Whirlys. Space Dust. Toffo's.
Top Trumps.
When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.

When nearly everyone's mum was at home when the kids got there.
When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to
carry groceries and nobody, not even the kid, thought anything of it.

When being sent to the head's office was nothing compared to the fate
that awaited a misbehaving pupil at home.

Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of
drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs etc.

Parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat and some of us are
still afraid of them.

Didn't that feel good?

Just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember that!

Remember when....

Decisions were made by going "Ip, Dip, Dog Sh t"

"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.

Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in Monopoly

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was germs.
And the worst thing in your day was having to sit next to one.

It was unbelievable that 'British Bulldog 123' wasn't an Olympic event.
Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a catapult.

Nobody was prettier than Mum.
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.

Taking drugs meant orange-flavoured chewable aspirin.
Ice cream was considered a basic food group.

Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.

Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest
protectors.

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED.

Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their grown life...

I am sending this important email to all my male friends hoping that they read and heed before the little women sees it.

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Jim Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Peggy. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Peggy to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the country club about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or
so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out in the evening is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she
really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to
stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean).

I like to think tact is one of my strong points. When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as
she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Peggy. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible!

Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this
earth to help each other.

Signed Jim

EDITOR'S NOTE:

Jim died suddenly on May 27 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Dunlop extra long 50-inch Super-Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby.

His wife Peggy was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Jim somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.