Well last night, there was I sat watching TV. Abi was in bed and Matt watching TV in his room. Abi came downstairs and said "Matt needs you" Some 15 minutes earlier he had dislocated his shoulder (again) and couldn't move off the bed. He'd eventually managed to ake Abi. After over 15 minutes I realised there was no way he could move or I could move him. So I called for an ambulance. Cheered Matt up no end A) when they gave him gas and air and more importantly the ambulance man was "very gay and pretty" (Matt's words)

So off he get carted to A&E. Lee and I followed by car and some 5 hours later we are home. We had domestic violence, mental patients. I LOVE people watching.

Made me sad though. When they too Matt into resus (yep I watch casuality) to be sedated, my eyes strayed to the bed opposite. The one my mum was in on the night she was admitted, 4 days before she died. I think the doctor had me down as some over protective mum when he saw me get distressed.
So now it's 4.03am and I have to be up for work at 6am.....buggar!

This is dad on his 80th Birthday last year. What a difference a year makes

What I would give if I could say
Happy Birthday dad, in the same old way
To hear your voice, to see your smile
To sit with you and chat a while.

Those of you who have a dad
Cherish him with care
You won't know true heartache
Till you see his empty chair.

Sminchins blog about her recent results got me thinking.

Years ago I was told by a doctor that as a woman I should "expect" to have pain. Her answer to being in so much pain after sex was to advise me to only have sex on Fridays She said in response to an ultrasound that I had a little bit of everything giving me pain.

The company I worked for had private medical insurance and I chose my own doctor (he delivered my son 13 years before) He booked me in for a laproscopy the next day, sayin he would pick up my notes from the NHS hopsital on the way. When he came to see me pre op, he threw my notes on the bed and said had he seen the ultrasound results the day before he would have been giving me an hysterectomy. He said had I been reffered to him on the NHS he'd have operated straight away.

I had:
Extensive adhesions
Endometriosis
Fibroids
and an ovarian cyst!

I had the hysterectomy a week later an amazed the nurses with how quick I recovered. As the cosultant said, I was probably in less pain post op than I had been for years!

(((hugs))) to Sminchin!

Well life has been busy, I am now in my new role as a Liaison Support Manager, although only temp for 3 months (covering sickness) my manager has said if I "continue to impress her" she will keep me Even if I took a step back to Liaison Officer this company provide a car, so we will be quids in. I like the company and culture so I'd taken cleaner if offeredD

Mum and Dad's house went up for sale and the first people to view offered just less than the value price, we waited till today's viewing to decide. Today's was a developer who offered us less, but said they could complete quick. We have gone with the first viewer who are first time buyers, a young couple starting out. They came back with a higher offer. After accepting we found out (as none of us had the heart to be at the viewing) that the young lad is the son of one of my dad's friends. My mum and dad will be pleased. I cried. Mum and dad lived in the house 56 years, and it hurts to see it go. Although mum didn't leave a will her wish was that anything they left when they died was to be split 7 ways. My brother's share (he died at 17) is to go to Air Ambulance. When the outstanding mortgage is paid we'll get a tidy sum, which will help no end, but at what price. I suppose everyone goes through these emotions

Oh! Funeral update. Last week my friend's dad died. So on Tuesday I attend my 5th Funeral in 5 months!

Lee came in from work, and as always woke me up with a coffee. Usually I sit up drink the coffee and go back to sleep. This morning I was wide awake within seconds, my mind a whirl, the new job, mum and dad's house going up for sale in fact anything. So I gets me out of bed, and camped on the sofa with the laptop watching the Sky+ which is nearly full of programs I usually love to watch but until recently haven't been motivated to watch.
Think I'm turning a corner.

Have a great weekend all.

As you know this year has been...well let's say....shit!

Anyhoo...this week I began looking for work.

Last night I saw my ideal job online. Managing TLO's (I was a TLO in my last job) I called the agency today, was interviewed at 2.30 and start tomorrow at 10am.......YIPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEE

Memo to self.......

Just because Lee could only attend the day "do", didn't mean I had to drink his arrival drink, his wine and then continue to drink into the wee small hours.

This morning was written off as every time I opened my eyes my head hurt, so I didn't!

Still Abi gets back from her school trip from Germany at 10pm so probably a good idea to get a lay in.

Have a good sunday all

Nicola and Nick Patching are close friends of ours. We first met Nicky when she came into the pub we ran and asked for a bar job, that was in 1995. We have been friends ever since. They're a fantastic couple and have two beautiful children Paige & Cameron. Nicky and Lee share the same birthday, though as she often reminds him, he was born ten years before her.

Today they got married and I was honoured to be asked to do a reading during the service. Below is the reading I did. Was so nice to have something to celebrate.

The key to love is understanding…
The ability to comprehend not only the spoken word
But those unspoken gestures,
The little things that say so much by themselves.
The key to love is forgiveness…
To accept each others faults and pardon mistakes
Without forgetting, but with remembering
What you learn from them.
The key to love is sharing…
Facing your good fortune as well as the bad, together.
Both conquering problems, forever searching for ways
To intensify your happiness
The key to love is giving…
Without thought of return,
But with the hope of just a simple smile
And by giving in but never giving up.
The key to love is respect…
Realising that you are two separate people, with different ideas.
That you don’t belong to each other,
You belong with each other, and share a mutual bond.
The key to love is inside us all…
It takes time and patience to unlock all the ingredients.
It is the continual learning process that demands a lot of work….
But the rewards are more than worth the effort…
And that is the key to love!

Sounds like the title for a not so funny film, but it's my life!

May - My Aunty Jean's funeral
June- My dad
July- My mum
2nd Aug my friend gets married.
Today my Sister in Laws brother died. So that will be the fourth funeral in as many months

Has anyone ever seen "Life of Grime" with Mr Trebus? Well for those of you that haven't I will enlighten you. Mr Trebus was a polish gentleman living in Haringey North London. He had a hobby, he collected things, the things he collected were stacked around, and outside his house. Making it dangerous to live in.
Now for a long while we have reffered to Abi as "Mrs Trebus" she loves to hoard and is famous for staking things in her wardrobe, under her bed etc. No she is a teen, she like my other children before her, is expected to tidy her room
Abi's has been needing a new bed for a while, and as we are clearing my mum's house (which has a nice new single bed) we have decided to decorate her room, before installing the new bed.
What a revelation! Under Abi's bed was loaded with all manner of goodies. Stashed in various bags (school, hnadbags etc) were packets of crisps, all now sadly out of date. Perhaps she was scared we would run out. I found all the odd socks and some matching ones...oh and knickers!!!! Oh Lordy!!!!!

Hopefully she will be pleased when she gets back, her room will be decorated, her PC (she inherited from Grandad) will be installed. Only we are decorating it cream....................she wanted purple walls

I fully understand this little mites father not accepting his baby could be snatched away with no one to blame but a cruel twist of fate. SID is a terrible thing and I know my friend when she lost her little boy, 26 years ago, struggled and constantly blamed herself or looked at what had happened in his final days to find a reason.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/7529152.stm

Wherever you may be, hope you are in good health
xx

Jon Rosling is an up an coming independant film maker. I was invited to the screening of "The Secret" in Sheffield and I'm glad I went. Not being a total film buff (unlike some of you) I can't offer critique (is that a word?)on camera direction etc. But the film is good! Keep a look out for it. The film has been submitted to many short film festivals.

The Secret is a film about the themes of isolation and frustration, told through the experience of a teenage boy during what appears to be a normal day at school.

The film begins with the familiar and routine start of a school day – a school bus pulls up, feet march to class, books are placed on desks. For David, his late arrival distinguishes him from the others, a distinction that frustratingly continues in class as his teacher and classmates appear to ignore him.

Young Rosie offers David some clues and tells him of a secret that he must figure out for himself. She warns him of sinister others who might try to prevent him finding out. His frustrations reach boiling point before David comes face to face with his darkest imaginings. As he flees the school in fear he finally realises the true horror of the secret…

“We shot The Secret over four days during the Easter school break and had to be off set by 6pm each day, so the scheduling and on-set organisation had to be really well organised. Everyone did a fantastic job and my pushing that strong team ethic we were done on time and on schedule every day. That even includes the day we had to rearrange the outdoor shoot for the weather!”
- Jon Rosling, Writer / Director

Find out more here: http://thesecret.eyefilms.co.uk/index.html

I have a big black cloud following me everywhere. I go to bed and think I have slept but wake up knackered, today I woke up at 12noon after going to bed at 11.30pm. To be honest I could have stayed there.
I feel bad, Ami and the tots are here but I have no patience and find myself getting wound up really quickly.
S'pose it'll take time

Over the last couple of months I went off "pro" status. I decided to leave it, seeing as I wasn't blogging often.
I can't stand it no more!!!!
So I signed back up, sick off the "congratulations you have won an Audi" banners.

Thanks all for your support over the last six months. Tomorrow we give my mum a send off fitting for her (our local MP is attending, they'll never hear the last of it in heaven!)

We'll then begin the process of emptying mum & dad's house, the house we all grew up in, and most of the family were born in. We'll then sell it.

On Saturday I have decided to attend a prebooked ghost hunt at the "Ancient Ram Inn" Mum and Dad were always interested in my paranormal exploits (dad even went with a message to come back at some point and tell someone) so, as Lee says, they would want life to go on.

The tots arrive this afternoon

And the rain has stopped!

Enough rambling!

Our family tell a lot of lies,
We never did before.
But from now until we die,
We'll tell a whole lot more.

Ask our family how we are
And because we can't explain,
We will tell a little lie
Because we can't describe the pain.

Ask our family how we are
We'll say 'We’re alright.'
If that's the truth, then tell me,
Why do we cry each night?

Ask our family how we are
We seem to cope so well.
We don’t have a choice you see,
Nor the strength to yell.

Ask our family how we are
'We’re fine, We’re well, We’re coping.'
We can’t bear to tell the truth,
And say our hearts are broken.

Dot & Jack

Tuesday was a day that will be forever etched in Abi's memory. She was hugged and kissed by "Josh" who she has fancied for ages. They're not going out with each other yet, but they "got off" with each other She has asked him out (not shy my girl!!!) He said He really, really, really likes her but he's confused, he's not sure he wants to be with anyone, and there are some people who would be upset if he did He's in a band!) She said "So that's a no then" He said "I never said no" Lee is having a fit! Me and Ami find it funny

Oh to be 12 again!!

Oh yeah, and her nan died. That bit hit her this morning. I'm glad it did.

Thanks everyone for your messages. We're concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other and breathing........

Mum and dad had been together over 58 years. Dad dying 4 weeks and 5 days ago wasn't going to stop that.

Reunited in Heaven, dad just went on ahead to make sure it was good enough for her!

Today is mum's birthday. I stayed with her last night and spent the morning with her. Hard to sit, my dad not being there hurts so much. God knows how mum feels, they would have been married 58 years this year.

I think this song says it all.

I believe- Diamond Rio

Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin
I feel you come back again
And its like you havent been gone a moment from my side
Like the tears were never cried
Like the hands of time are holding you and me
And with all my heart Im sure were closer than we ever were
I dont have to hear or see, Ive got all the proof I need
There are more than angels watching over me
I believe, I believe

Chorus
That when you die your life goes on
It doesnt end here when youre gone
Every soul is filled with light
It never ends and if Im right
Our love can even reach across eternity
I believe, I believe

Forever, youre a part of me
Forever, in the heart of me
And Ill hold you even longer if I can
The people who dont see the most
Say that I believe in ghosts
And if that makes me crazy, then I am
cause I believe

There are more than angels watching over me
I believe, I believe

Type in what the questions ask you into Google search and use the first thing that comes up as your answer.

1. Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
Teresa Needs To Lay Off The Sauce!

2. Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
Teresa looks like she might be capable of causing harm not only to herself but to those that thwart her

3. Type in "[your name] likes" in Google search:
Teresa likes to play it when she fucks

4. Type in "[your name] says" in Google search:
Teresa says with pictures, videos, personal blog, interests, information about me and more.

5. Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:
Teresa wants to keep the 8 and use the 8

6. Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:
Teresa does Scotland

7. Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search
theresa hates ethan.....Who???

8. Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search:
Teresa goes surfing in Maui......I wish!

9. Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:
Teresa Loves Scott .....WHO??

10. Type in "[your name] has" in Google search:
Teresa has the right to disemvowel my posts

11. Type in "[your name] gets" in the Google search:
Teresa gets $14M to prep for rail move

12. Type in "[your name] eats" in the Google search:
Teresa Eats Fetus

13. Type in "[your name] can" in the Google search:
Teresa can delegate much of the administration to her assistant

14. Type in "[your name] drinks" in the Google search:
Teresa drinks a minimum of 10 cups of water a day

15. Type in "[your name] makes" in the Google search:
Teresa makes a curtain call

Thanks all for your messages on my previous blog.

The day of Dad's funeral turned out to be a hot sunny day, the type of day dad would have loved. Sadly dad's garden chair sat leaning against the wall as people began to arrive for the funeral.
The cars were due to arrive at 11.30am but people were arriving from 11am. I was actually oblivious to what was going on and with Lee on one side Abi on the other didn't leave the house until the cars arrived. I did notice people stood out on the street to watch the coffin drive by (an old village tradition) and all the curtains on the street were closed. The sight of dad's coffin in the hearse almost broke my heart and I don't think I actually stopped crying throughout.
As we neared the local church, Lee tells me there were masses of people outside. The vicar had opened up the doors into the back of the church and added extra seating, apparently there were still people who needed to stand. My dad will have been impressed with that!
We had two hymns, "The lord's my shepherd" and "All things Bright and beautiful" During the service we had a CD of my dad singing "Don't laugh at me cos I'm a fool" while it was on I wondered why we put ourselves through it but I can imagine dad bragging in heaven "I sang at my own funeral" The reading we had was:

You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your
back,
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes,
love and go on.

and the vicar gave her eulogy (none of us felt up to speaking) which was brilliant and moving, the vicar herself shed a tear more than once.

The coffin was lifted and carried out as Gracie Fields struck up with "Wish me luck as you wave me Goodbye" which brought about laughter and tears.

http://jack-wootton.gonetoosoon.co.uk/

At 3.40am this morning, after a sudden decline on the early hours of Weds morning my dad Jack passed away. Despite constant atention from his family at home, managed to find a 2 minute window of opportunity to "pop off" alone.

I am honoured to have spent his last hours ensuring he passed gently from this life, in his own home and his family near

Never Mind Rest in Peace......Go get em dad!!!

As reported here MPs are voting on a change in the limit abortions are allowed, currently 24 weeks. I am in no way anti-abortion but agree with the change being brought in.
Below is evidence that babies at 24 weeks (and younger) can survive. I understand that late abortions are usually as a result of medical needs, but testing etc needs to be done earlier. Where do we draw the line

Joshua & Daniel Green..born to my cousin Deb.

Joshua.....born 4th Jan....1lb 7oz-died 5th Jan (23 weeks gestation)

Daniel......born 4th Jan...1lb 6oz.......Now 4 years old

Dear Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport but I am a total loss to
understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through.

How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke has my address and
telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them back
in 1994, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and
on what date?

How come that nice West African immigrant chappy who comes round every
Thursday night with his DVD rentals van can tell me every film or video
I have had out since he started his business up eleven years ago, yet
you still want me to remind you of my last three jobs, two of
which were
with contracts working for the government?

How come the T.V. detector van can tell if my T.V. is on, what channel I
am watching and whether I have paid my licence or not, and yet if I win
the government run lottery they have no idea I have won or where I am
and will keep the bloody money to themselves if I fail to claim in good
time.
Do you people do this by hand?

You have my birth date on numerous files you hold on me, including the
one with all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30-odd years.
It's on my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last four
passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've
had to fill out before being allowed off the planes and boats over the
last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done
every ten years and the electoral registration forms I have to complete,
by law, every time our lords and masters are up for
re-election.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, I was born in
Maidenhead on the 4th of March 1957, my mother's name is Mary, her
maiden name was Reynolds, my father's name is Robert, and I'd be
absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and the day I die!

I apologise Minister. I'm obviously not myself this morning. But between
you and me, I have simply had enough! You mail the application to my
house, then you ask me for my address. What is going on? Do you have a
gang of Neanderthals working there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look
like Bin Laden? I don't want to activate the Fifth Reich for God's sake!
I just want to go and park my weary backside on a sunny, sandy beach for
a couple of week's well-earned rest away from all this crap.

Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to back to Salisbury and
get another copy of my birth certificate because you lost the last one.
AND to the tune
of 60 quid! What a racket THAT is!! Would it be so
complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the
issuance of a new passport the same day? But nooooo, that'd be too damn
easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the
place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some tosser to
confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know... the one
where we're not allowed to smile in in case we look as if we are
enjoying the process!
Hey, you know why we can't smile? 'Cause we're totally jacked off!

I served in the armed forces for more than 25 years including over ten
years at the Ministry of Defence in London. I have had security
clearances which allowed me to sit in the Cabinet Office, five seats
away from the Prime Minister while he was being briefed on the first
Gulf War and I have been doing volunteer work for the British Red Cross
ever since I left the Services.
However, I have to get someone
'important' to verify who I am
--
you know, someone like my doctor...
who, before he got his medical degree 6 months ago WAS LIVING IN
PAKISTAN...

Yours sincerely,
An Irate British Citizen

It's been a year since you left the ones you love.
It's been a year that you've been looking down on us from up above.
It's been a year of constant reminder that you're not here.
It's been a year of memories, sorrow and fear.
It's been a year since that horrible night.
It's been a year from when you walked into the light.
It's been a year where we had to be strong everyday.
It's been a year of unspoken words we need to say.
It's been a year since we had to say goodbye.
Where is the good in goodbye when all we do is cry?
It's been a year that has changed all our days.
It's been a year, and we've grown strong in so many ways.
It's been a year where we know you're in a better place.
It's been a year, and we still haven't forgotten your face.
It's been a year of just imagining what it's like up there.
It's been a year since he took you, it just seems so unfair.
It's been a year, but we know you're doin