What a dull day

Am feeling much better now the antibiotics have kicked in.

Not a lot to report at the Rotherham household. Abi is grounded after having the mother of teenage tantrums one night last week. You know the sort, ran upstairs, slammed her door, decided that wasn't loud enough and proceeded to bang her head on the door Lee didn't know what hit him, Ami was never the tantrum kind!

Dad is looking well, I had a message at church by the visiting medium for my dad, it was his mum and sister and said they are around. One I'd convinced him they weren't here to carry him off he was pleased. He sees the chemo doctor on Friday, so at least the hospital are looking after him.

Work is going good, my name was mentioned in a meeting with directors at our company and the local council. A tenant had informed the council that she couldn't have coped without my support. The "man" from the council told her he wished they had 6 like me. It's good to get positive feedback

I spent last night researching Lee's 40th birthday surpise. I'm taking him to Italy, home of Ferrari, the car he said he'd have by 40 He gets a visit to the museum instead, it's doing his head in as all I'v told him is to book time off work

Spent this morning catching up on some blogs, thankfully regained my friend am off to watch the nephew play footie

:waves: by

I haven't been on blog as much as I would like, and occasionally my friends list will drop. Usually it's someone who I don't miss. However I do have friends that I would miss if the went. I was spending this morning reading up friends blogs when I realised I had one missing.

I don't know why

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day Frances and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So Frances called him a shithead. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus.

We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age

FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS HE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS
WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH..

FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION .

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY BECAUSE IT MEANS
I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN
CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

Drink Driving... THIS is absolutely brilliant. Only an Aussie could pull this one off!

From the state where drink driving is considered a sport, comes a true story from the Sunshine Coast, Queensland.
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighborhood tavern. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night), flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few cm, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.

At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test.

To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man's intoxication.

The police officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station - this breathalyser equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy".

*Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall *

*Humpty Dumpty had a great fall *

*The structure of the wall was incorrect *

*So he won a grand with Claims Direct. *

*It's Raining, It's Pouring. *

*Oh sh*t, it's Global Warming. *

*Mary** had a little lamb *

*her father shot it dead. *

*Now it goes to school with her *

*between two chunks of bread. *

*Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair. *

*Said Simple Simon to the pie man *

*"What have u got there?" *

*Said the pie man unto Simon *

*Pies you d**khead. *

*Mary** had a little lamb *

*it ran into a pylon. *

*10,000 volts went up its ar*e *

*and turned its wool to nylon. *

*Jack** and Jill *

*Went up the hill *

*And planned to do some kissing. *

*Jack** made a pass *

*and grabbed her ass *

*Now two of his teeth are missing. *

*Mary** had a little lamb *

*Its fleece was white and wispy. *

*Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease *

*And now it's black and crispy. *

Test for Smart People. I have determined that you qualify.

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional.
Scroll down for each answer.
The questions are NOT that difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question!

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2 How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?

Wrong Answer
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions..

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you mu st cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?

Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you been
listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.