27 days, 3 hours, 56 minutes and 19 seconds......at the point of starting this post!

Lee got in bed at 4.10am and woke me up, he always does. Usually I am asleep within seconds.....this morning I wasn't. Everytime I closed my eyes I was thinking about shopping. Perhaps it's my inner voice telling me to start christmas shopping! Why doesn't it tell me where the money is coming from????

Work is good, very busy but enjoyable. The local council estates are a good example of care in the community......brill But that'll have to be a friends only post

Oh well!!! I'm off to read blogs....

A BIT OF BAD DUCK

A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet.

As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your duck has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm quite sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat.

The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird.

The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!" she cried. "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead?"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry." "If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but (get this...............................
.
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with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150."

Well what a shocking day! News on the radio said some areas had snow, sadly not ours. We just got rain, rain and more rain!

Matthew is ok, he has to go to Fracture Clinic on Weds to see the consultant. As his shoulder keeps "popping" in and out methinks he may need an op. Lee's mum, who has been ill in hospital has an Echocardiogram (sp) tomorrow, my dad sees his consultant and on Weds I see my "bum" doctor.....a week for hospital visits. I have said my prayers for all and await the doctor's opinion!

Went to church tonight to attend open circle, I was again lucky enough to pass on a message. We also had the pleasure of meeting a native american indian chief named Eagle White Feather...She...yeah SHE, is the daughter of a chief and is visiting the area with her partner. They are here for six months and I can't wait to learn more about her and her ancestors!!!

Hope you are all fine and dandy. Just over a week to the Meno visit, and I for one can't wait.

Landers.....I am sooo proud of you and Brad, a lesser man would have killed by now!

Anyhoo.... of to watch some TV and wind down for bed

Today my son is 20, he stands 6ft 4in and it's hard to imagine him as the baby who this night 20 years ago was fighting for his life in a Special Care Baby Unit. Ventilated and sedated, so ill that he was 24 hours old before I saw him and a week old before I held him.
Today, he was up bright an early, mainly due to him staying in last night. He went to visit his gran, some may think how sweet that he goes to see his ill gran, those who know him know it was mainly to see what cash would be in the card
He's not a bad lad, if a computer nerd!
He went out this afternoon, 30 minutes later Lee got a text to say someone had tried to steal his i-phone. Matthew had punched the would be mugger, who had run off!
He was heading off to Meadowhall, to shop and eat at Nandos. We then got a call. En route to Meadowhall, they had crossed the bridge over the river. Matthew had thrown a coin into the river and his shoulder promptly dislocated. The first aider at the nearby gym called an ambulance.
He has just called me to say he has enjoyed the gas & air he was given in A&E and despite my pleas to give up and go to bed is off out with his mates....I await the third call!!!!

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation

Full story here:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm

PARENT - Job Description
This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION :Mum, Mummy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities .
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs £5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that university will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Regular readers of my blog will know of my interest in spiritualism. I have been attending development class for a few months and attend "open circle" whenever I can.
As the class has been running for sometime and we all know each other, it can be difficult to judge whether we are giving "true" messages or delving into our own memory.
Tonight at circle I had no intention of working, I was content to sit and observe. After a while I had no option but to stand up and give a message to a man sat close to me. I gave his son's name, correctly identified concerns around this lad and described the man's mother who is hard of hearing. I was so pleased I lost the link and sat down, can't wait till I get the confidence to carry on.
The man came to me at the end and said from what I had given him he felt I had his father with me. He said he and his father had agreed that when he made contact he would pass on a code. I was gutted I lost the link, I really could have given the man proof of life everlasting. He did take comfort from knowing his dad is aware of the problems surrounding his grandson.

I'll go to bed with a smile on my face tonight!

A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third everything had just been reduced to a fiver when her mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU. The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible.
As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the shops. She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the hospital.
She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful coffee slice complimentary from the last shop
She was jubilant. Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her Husband's condition.
The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, 'You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you!
I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will be more than likely the last shopping trip you ever take!
For the rest of his life he will require round the clock care. And you'll now be his full time carer!'
The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed.
The female doctor then chuckled and said, 'I'm just pulling your leg. He's dead. What'd you buy?'

Please?

..........your first away from home.

She has put on invisibility.

Dear Lord, I cannot see--

But this I know, although the road ascends

And passes from my sight,

That there will be no night;

That You will take her gently by the hand

And lead her on

Along the road of life that never ends,

And she will find it is not death but dawn.

I do not doubt that You are there as here,

And you will hold her dear.

Our life did not begin with birth,

It is not of the earth;

And this that we call death, it is no more

Than the opening and closing of a door

And in Your house how many rooms must be

Beyond this one where we rest momentarily.

Dear Lord, I thank You for the faith that frees,

The love that knows it cannot lose its own;

The love that, looking through the shadows, sees

That You and she and I are ever one!

-- James Dillet Freeman (Unity School of Christianity, Unity Village, Missouri)

Earlier this evening I got a text from my friend. Pregnant with her second child, she texted me to say she wouldn't be around tomorrow, when I planned to visit for coffee, as she expected to be in hospital shortly. She's been in labour since 1am, and I quote "can't believe I forgot how bad this was"

Good luck Lou, I look forward to meeting your baby daughter (or if the scan was wrong, boy dressed in pink)

Work is going good had a bad day Tuesday when I and the electricians were told to get out of a tenants f...ing property. He accused us of wrecking his house, we haven't even started work as the property was piled high with crap, stinky nappies and god knows what else. Like bloody shameless!!!!! At the other end of the scale I really feel for tenants who have decorated houses which are now being rewired.

Dad is doing well, consultant appointment in 10 days so we see what is happening from then. I am feeling much brighter, although I have just blubbed through "mummy diaries" on channel 4

OH! and I have the day of for the Manchester blog meet China if you want to come, PM me

Sad to hear of the death of Hilda Braid, more recently known as Nana Moon in Eastenders. She played an excellent part and had me in stitches.

Full story: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7081599.stm

OK, so it's 5th November. But "enough already!!!" After what seems like weeks of bangs and flashes (no not my sex life!!!) I am getting a bit fed up of the fireworks, probably because I know there will be more after tonight.

We did the duty and took Abi to the local Parish Council display, lasted 20 minutes in all, and probably cost em a bomb...get it Next year she'll be 13, lets hope it'll be "uncool" to go with parents!!

Now I'm not a party pooper, but after spending 8-5 being nice to tenants who wanted to lynch me, I just wanted to curl up and watch Corrie...sad I know!

Hope all my pals in blogland are well

xxx

As BBC news reports:

Four firefighters are believed to have died tackling a suspected arson attack at a warehouse in Warwickshire.

Full story: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/coventry_warwickshire/7076401.stm

My thoughts are with the families and colleagues

When the tricks on trick or treat weren't malicous?

Getting a 10p mix up was a great treat?

When the run up to Bonfire Night was exciting, you could sense in the air it was coming. Rather than today's barrage of fireworks from Mid Oct?

Seeing the Christmas stuff in shops at the beginning of Dec was exciting, rather than this two month long run up?

When you always had something to do, and if a gang of you and your mates were on the street corner you were usually en route to somewhere. Not drinking white lightning?

When you knew, should you "cheek back" at a neighbour, you dad (or in my case Mam) would smack you one?

Mmmmm these came into my head tonight....can you think of any?