In the beginning was the plan
And then came the assumptions
And the assumptions were without form
And the plan was completely without substance
And the darkness was upon the face of workers
And they spoke among themselves, saying
"It is a crock of sh*t and it stinketh."
And the workers went upon their supervisors and sayeth,
"It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odour thereof."
And the supervisors went unto their managers and sayeth unto them
"It is a container of excrement and it is very strong,
Such that none may abide by it."

And the managers went unto their directors and sayeth,
"It is a vessel of fertiliser, none may abide its strength."
And the directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another,
"It contains that which aid plant growth, and it is very strong."
And the directors went unto the vice presidents and sayeth unto them,
"It promotes growth and is exceedingly powerful."

And the vice presidents went unto the president and sayeth unto him,
"This new plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency
of this company, and these areas in particular."
And the president looked upon the plan,
And saw that it was good, and the plan became policy,

And this is how sh*t happens

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust and it only takes suspicion not proof to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responisble for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of the kids did it.

And most of all.......

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones never go away.

1. I am the youngest daughter in a family of seven

2. I used to run a pub

3. I have made it to management level, despite only passing 1 O level (don't tell the kids - exams ARE important)

4. I have seen two ghosts

5. I still own a parka (complete with fishtail and union jack)

;Is it Saturday????

Had to get up at 7am, the bloody dog is so used to getting up that early he was barking his head off. As Lee didn't get in until 2am (some B*stards stealing cars) I got up to shut him up!

Packaged the two items I sold on ebay and was at the post office by 9am. One buyer wants the dress I sold her for a do on Monday! I then had a wander onto the local shopping centre. Was nice to wander while it wasn't so busy though I only bought some Gregs cheese n onion pasties for Lee's pack up (lunch!)

I then went off to lee's mum's to drop off the pressies, and was back home reading the papers by 10 am

Babysitting my nephew tonight and my brother has just called to offer to take Abi to Mc Dees for lunch. Lee's mum is taking her south tomorrow (Lee's bro's wife is ill so couln't come up for pressies) So Abi has a very busy weekend.

OH ! AND BLOODY TAX CREDITS !

My daughter has STILL not had a bean from them and Oskar is one. They logged a formal complaint and duly waited the 28 dayd for the response, which stated the claim was never recieved Mmmm strange how my daughter has a log of calls to the office with names of people she spoke to regarding the non existent claim! She also sent SIX birth certificates as they kept losing them, despite 3 being recorded delivery and being signed for.

My mum has called her friend, who just happens to be a local MP. Let his sort out the sham that is our benefits system!!!!!