There was a school hall full of Yorkshire women all being given an exercise lesson by Jane Fonda.
"O.K., ladies. Hands on thighs!"
As one, every woman moved her hands and a voice at the back said "What good's that, then? I can't see 'er now!"
A man goes to the vet because his cat is poorly. The vet says "Is it a tom?" and the man says "Nay lad, 'ah've got it 'ere in t'basket!"
A couple are playing 'I spy' in the kitchen of their home somewhere in Yorkshire.
'I spy with my little eye something beginning with T' said the husband.
"Tea pot said the wife." 'Nay Lass!'
"Tea towel." 'Nay Lass!'
"Toaster." 'Nay Lass!' he said, drumming his fingers on the work top.
"Oh I don't know" she said at long last "I give in"
'It's easy' he said. 'It's t'oven!'
A Yorkshire farmer went into a jewellers shop in Harrogate. He was constantly chewing. The salesgirl said, "Can I help you Sir?"
"Aye" he said, still chewing. "I'd like one 'o them theer rings".
"Yes Sir, wedding or engagement?"
"Wedding, tha nos", he said, chewing constantly.
"Gold or Silver?", said the salesgirl, watching him chewing.
"Gold", he said.
"Eighteen Carats?", said the girl.
"Nay lass", he said. "It's toffee and it's stuck in me teeth".