Well it's Friday, what a week it's been. Started with being filled up with barium and spun like a washer and ended by being told, yes I have bleeding from my kidney, no it's not normal and that unless the bloodtests show any kidney failure they will not be investigating further. The pain may or may not be coming from my kidney but tests to determine the cause of my bleeding or pain could cause damage to my kidney and cause failure, the doctor doesn't want to take that chance. She wants me to be reffered to a pain clinic to make sure they manage my pain better and unless the six bottles of blood they took come back with anything of concern I will see her in January and she will provide me and my doctor with a plan to monitor my kidney function. She said the end diagnosis if we pushed for one would probably be "loin pain haematuria syndrome" like IBS is "it hurts but we're buggered if we know why"

I still have the bowel problem to be diagnosed but I think I need to accept that I have to get on top of the pain and get a life!

Anyhoo....

No fat class this week due to hospital, but considering Lee insisted we do pizza hut for tea I might have put on the 2lb i would have lost!!

The week has been taken up with constantly picking Abi up from school following Asthma attacks, she hasn't ever been this bad before and it is very scary for her. However i do think the school panic and call us too soon, by the time I pick her up (almost every day this week!) and get her home she is fine and bouncing of the walls with energy! The doctor has increased her steroids so we just need to watch her.

Matt, my son is 19 today (bless!) who would have thought that little boy born 6 weeks prem and almost dying in SCBU would turn out as he has. A 6ft 4in raving queen LOL!!! We love him to bits!!!

Tomorrow is party time, my brother his wife and two step children fly out for a new life in New Zealand on Monday so the WHOLE family are getting together. He lived in South Wales so we didn't see him often but it strange to think he will be t'other side of the world this time next week. Scary for mum and dad, as she says this will probably be the last time they see them and she wants to make the most of it

I plan to ditch the drugs and reaquaint myself with the old friend Stella and her mate vodka red bull!!!

Hope u have all had a good week and have plans for the weekend!

02 Broken Telephone

Be Good Tanyas From the album "Blue Horse"

I'll be the wind in your leaves
The warmth of the sun
I'm always drawing your colours
I'm always tracing your footsteps

It's a hard world it's a cold world
I could never say what I mean
I went looking in all the wrong places
There's nothing wrong with you

Broken telephone
The lines are down
The wires no longer reaching
Connection's gone

Higher and higher
I am taken by what you've given to me
Higher and higher
I am taken by what you've given to me
What you've given to me

I'll be the wind in your leaves
The warmth of the sun
I'm always drawing your colours
I'm always tracing your footsteps

It's a hard world it's a cold world
I could never say what I mean
I went looking in all the wrong places
There's nothing wrong with you

Broken telephone the lines are down
I throw myself at nothing
I throw myself at nothing

Higher and higher I am taken by
What you've given to me...

I got this on email this morning. It's about crystal meth but could be about any drug out there! My nephew became a drug addict at the age of 16, strating with pot and progressing, with the help of his dealer "friends" to heroin. His addiction was watched by my distraught sister as he spiraled into crime and eventually prison. He moved to another town and finally recieved the psychiatric care our town refused to give him. He was diagnosed with Schizophrenia.
He made friends with some people at the hospital and attended the local church. My happiest memeory is attending his baptism, when he had been drug free for a year.
I hope that the memory of A will prevent my children from ever wanting to do drugs, the eldest two saw him at his worst. I must admit this poem hit a note!

My Name: "Is TICK" I destroy homes, I tear families apart, take your children, and that's just the start.
I'm more costly than diamonds, more precious than gold, The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.
If you need me, remember! I'm easily found, I live all around you - in schools and in town.
I live with the rich; I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door.
I'm made in a lab, but not like you think, I can be made under the kitchen sink.
In your child's closet, and even in the woods, If this scares you to death, well it certainly should.
I have many names, but there's one you know best, I'm sure you've heard of me, my name is crystal meth.
My power is awesome; try me you'll see, But if you do, you may never break free.
Just try me once and I might let you go, But try me twice, and I'll own your soul.
When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie, You do what you have to -- just to get high.
The crimes you'll commit for my narcotic charms Will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms, (your lungs,
and your nose).
You'll lie to your mother; you'll steal from your dad, When you see their tears, you should feel sad.
But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised, I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.
I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from God, and separate friends.
I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride, I'll be with you always -- right by your side.
You'll give up everything - your family, your home, your friends, your money, then you'll be alone.
I'll take and take, till you have nothing more to give, When I'm finished with you, you'll be lucky to live.
If you try me be warned - this is no game, If given the chance, I'll drive you insane.
I'll ravish your body, I'll control your mind, I'll own you completely, your soul will be mine.
The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed, The voices you'll hear, from inside your head.
The sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see, I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.
But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart, That you are mine, and we shall not part.
You'll regret that you tried me, they always do, But you came to me, not I to you.
You knew this would happen, many times you were told, But you challenged my power, and chose to be bold.
You could have said no, and just walked away, If you could live that day over, now what would you say?
I'll be your master, you will be my slave, I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave.
Now that you have met me, what will you do? Will you try me or not? It's all up to you.
I can bring you more misery than words can tell, Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell.