Went to Fat Class. Weight has stayed the same. I'm sure the drugs aren't helping as they have an adverse effect on the plumbing!

Lee is getting on with the kitchen and has just yelled "Do you think you could give me a hand in a bit?" which when translated means. Get off the PC and do something useful; Oh well, he's back at work Saturday so I will miss him then!

Abi went back to school this morning, got up no problem and was out of the door 15 minutes earlier than usual. She wanted to call for a boy up the street. She's desperately looking for someone to hang out with tomorrow evening for Halloween as her so called "best friend" has decided she is hanging out with some other girls and Abi isn't welcome. Why are girls so nasty? When we were younger it was the more the merrier and we regularly hung out with other groups.

I do worry about her, she isn't "cool", doesn't wear, or want to wear designer gear, and would prefer a game of footie rather than stand watching boys. I'm sure she'll find her own way, but it's so much harder than when we were kids!

oh well must go, hubby has just glared!!!!!

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and remain cautious when offered a drink by any woman.

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in cans,
bottles, or from taps and in large "kegs".

Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.
A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then
simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship."
In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage."

Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.

For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the Yellow Pages.

Oh well, my own fault, stayed up till past midnight watching Most Haunted Live! I know, so sad! It was of they were in Edinburgh vaults and as well as the usual bumps in the dark the cameraman (Stuart) attacked the producer (Karl) and threw him across the room. The crew then promptly began to pass out!
As a member of a local paranormal group, I can't wait till I am well enough to go on a vigil and test some theories for real. Oh well till then I'll leave it to Yvette, here's hoping tonight some bugger launches Kieran o'Keefe across the room. Smug git that he is!

Off to fat class this morning, I have got weighed and put 2lb on as far as I can tell, no clue where from but hey ho!

I then have to call work with the news that I won't be back anytime soon, wish me luck!

Found a good site, you can translate any text into any dialect!

Here's one I did earlier

Aye up orl had uz blog translated by eur gran' si'. thee can translate intoa orl dialects!

The site is: http://www.whoohoo.co.uk/

Hope you all have a good day. Send `positive thoughts to wensum24 who is back in the theatre today!

Abi my daughter said today

"I needed my inhaler this morning, but couldn't find it"
"Why didn't you wake us" I asked
"you were awake I listened at your door" she replied
"Why didn't you come in?" I asked
" Cos you and dad were having Shnoo Shnoo" she replied
"What's shnoo Shnoo?" I asked.

She looked at me and her dad, winked and said "you know!"

Mmmmmmm

My son, being made redundant from his IT job started a temp job in a Call Centre close to home. He lost said job on friday, the reason, for making a homophobic comment to a staff member

The story goes like this:

Matt started at the company with a girl called Nina who he got on really well with from day 1. She even took a detour each day to give him a lift. Following the training they were appointed different teams, but sat back to back as they worked. One day they had been having a laugh over lunch, on the thread of "girls are bad because, boys are bad because" This apparently carried on after lunch and a girl sat next to nina joined in. Matt made a comment that they smelled because "All girls smell" and they all laughed. The girls sat next to Matt, who had ignored him up to this point (1 week!) asked what they were laughing at. Matt replied "I said they smell because girls smell"
This girl got very abusive to Matt and said "Oh so because I am a Lesbian, you do not count me as a girl!" Matt tried to point out that he hadn't meant any offence to her, but hadn't included her as she wasn't part of the original joke. She went into the Manager's office and Matt was hauled in front of the HR manager.
The HR manager didn't ask for Matthew's side of the story and ripped shreds out of him for his "homophobic comments", Matthew managed to get into the conversation that he would NEVER be homophobic as he himself is Gay and had suffered homophobic bullying at school, He also hadn't a clue that this girl was Gay as she had ignored him to that point, even when he'd asked for her help! The HR manager would not hear anything and said I think we need to think about whether you are suitable for the position. Matthew promptly told her he didn't think he was, but he would work till the end of the day thanks, and walked out!
I was initially peed off that he'd walked out of the job, but am on the whole proud that he stood up for himself. He has since found out that this girl saw him as a threat as she is the only "gay" employee. As Matt says, perhaps the girl has a problem with her sexuality if she needs to wear it as a badge.
He came out to us at 15, it hasn't been easy for him but I think this shows he is dealing with it in a mature way.
My advise to him for working life is "manipulate the situation, and be all things to all men" I carry that into work with me every day!

Can't wait to see him live this month!!!

a.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'llsqueeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

a.. Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

a.. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

a.. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

a.. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

a.. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

a.. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

a.. Why does your GYNAE leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

a.. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

a.. What do you call male ballerinas?

a.. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

a.. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,why
didn't he just buy dinner?

a.. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

a.. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

a.. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

a.. Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

a.. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

a.. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

a.. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

a.. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can't wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?

a.. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

So I will keep posting the pumpkin pictures!!!

Hope you are all well, doctor was a total waste of space yesterday, so we won't go there!!

Had to get up at 7.30am cos Lee had hired a van to help his brother (nice one! not the knob head!)move and it had to be back by 8.30am. I had to follow him in the car and it was the first time I had driven for almost a month!! I ddn't crash which is a bonus!

We then went to Focus, homebase and MFI in that order. Because we had a radiator fitted in the kitchen Lee had to take out a corner unit, the whole bloody worktop collapsed. Any way..... We bought two new worktops, and some paint and door handles. Lee is making new kitchen doors. We also spied some floor tiles on sale and Lee has worked out we can redo the whole kitchen/utility room for £30 so he is off to buy them this afternoon! meaning I will have a new looking kitchen for about £300! He's such a clever boy!

Abi is off to watch Rotherham United this afternoon with her Aunty & Cousin and Matt is working 3-11pm so it will be very peaceful this afternoon!

Hope you are all having a good day!

Hellooooo

Thanks to all my blog friends for your support over the last couple of days. I have decided I am not going to let the b*stards get me down, so what if the NHS is full of incompetent, heartless idiots. I am not going to let it beat me!

Off to see GP at 4pm to discuss options, and Ma & Pa (god bless em) have offered to pay for a private consultation with Gynae if he needs to get involved re adhesions. I have promised Lee I won't cry after that (my GP always makes me cry, he is too sympathetic!)

Hope you are all well and have weekend plans!

On my new eating plan (I hate the word diet)I am allowed up to 15 sins a day. It's up to me how I use them (1 vodka is 2.5 syns)
Today whilst doing my big shop I picked up the above, and double chocolate flavour too!!

They are huge, filling and better still only 5 syns each!! That's great considering I bought myself and Onken Mousse the other day and gave it my son as, despite it's low fat label it was 8 syns! Bloody hell that's 2 vodkas and a packet of Asda cheese curls!!

Yummy.............

kiki mentioning castles got me thinking. You know when you're on holiday you visit castles? We've done Warwick, Winkworth and Alnwick to name but a few! But you don't think about what is on your doorstep do you?

The castle above is Conisbrough and is a mere 15 minutes drive away (7 if Lee drives!) It used to be a favourite for school trips and we just worked out that Abi has never been. We have promised to take her by the end of half term (it's lagging it down here and I have my BIG shop to do at Asda so today is a no go)

History:

The first castle built on the site was in 1088, although the present castle dates back to 1180 which is the cylindrical keep followed after by the walls. The buildings wthin weren't built until the 13th century. The castle is steeped in history and more detail can be found on the official website here: http://www.conisbroughcastle.org.uk/History/history.htm

Heard this on VH1 this morning.D

We are watching Ring 2, just taking a break as Lee is walking the dog.

I am soooo scared!!!

I blame the medication!!!!

In the Red Dwarf Episode "Backwards" the crew end up on a parallel universe that goes backwards in time. For those who were anal enough to reverse the speech to see what the people talking backwards were saying, there was a small suprise in store for you.

Ready for the weekend:

How to Rate a Hangover
Only those who have been there can identify with this.........

One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the kebab from the 3:00 AM, kebab shop excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching TV. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 lucozades and a diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice
clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. (For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big red vein,
and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover(*)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits next to you. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to
defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your butt. Death sounds pretty good about right now....

I can deal with that

A Yorkshireman had emigrated to America, but still used to receive news from home by mail.
One day, he got the following telegram:
'Regret father died this morning STOP early hours. Funeral Wednesday STOP Yorkshire two hundred and one for six STOP Boycott not out ninety six.'

Apart from being free, the film was great.

Set mainly in Provance in Southern France I suppose as a comedy love story some people will see it as a chick flick, but the fellas enjoyed the film as much as we did.

Off to see the new Kate Winslet next week.....Don't ya just love freebies

1. Save all your beef fat. You will be instructed later how to use it.

2. If you forget a Northerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Love"

3. Just because you can't drive on snow and ice does not mean we always have to give you lifts everywhere.

4. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in > the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of Carly Special and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

5. Don't be surprised to find video rentals and bait in the same store.

6. Do not try to buy fresh pasta. Thump in gob tends to offend..

7. If it can't be fried in lard, it ain't worth cooking.

8. Remember: "Us" is singular. "Thaa" is plural. "Thaas" is plural possessive.

9. There is nothing sillier than a Southerner imitating a northern accent, unless it is a northerner imitating a Brummie accent.

10. Get used to hearing, "Tha not from around here, are tha?"

11. People walk slower.

12. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

13. The first Northern expression to creep into a transplanted Southerner's vocabulary "me ducks", Eighty-five percent end their new northern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.

14. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

15. Be advised: The "He were a southern bugger" ia a legal defence up here.

16. If attending a funeral in the north take your baseball hat off when everyone else does.

17. If you hear a Northern kid exclaim, "Ayup, come and look at this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will say before the explosion.

18. Most Northerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a northern licence plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.

19. Southerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windscreen that comes from yelling at other drivers.

20. The summer wardrobe you always brought out in April can wait til June.

21. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of sun, your presence is required at the local chemist. It does not matter if you need anything from there, it is just something you're supposed to do.

22. Satellite dishes are very popular in the North. When you purchase one, it is to be positioned directly in front of your caravan. This is logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the caravan and should, therefore, be displayed.

23. Blizzards and Northerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a caravan.

24. Leeds does NOT have a castle, no matter how often you ask us.

25. In Northern churches you will hear the hymn, "Come All Ye Faithful". You will also hear expressions such as, "Bugger me, Lord", "God knows", "Jesus wept!" and "God help the poor cow ".

26. As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as a Reliant Robin, and this is the proper speed and lane position for the vehicle.

27. You can ask a Northerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key piles of rubble, canals, coal mines, railway crossings, and where factories used to stand, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

As my last post says I have been to fat class. After class, which consists of awarding slimmer of the week (can't be your 1st week, must have attended class and lost or maintained the week before) having a chat and food tasting (Mexican Soup...Yummy!) We ventured out to find the car park full.
The class is held in what is called "The Barn" and is next to St Albans church. The church is beautiful, as my two eldest went to the church school, we attended all assemblies there. With the amount of cars we realised there was a funeral and that it wul be impossible for Lee to get up the church Lane to pick us up in the car, so we walked down to the main road. As we did so the funeral courtage arrived.
First of all there was the sound of music then a New Orleans Marching Band came into the lane, I have to admit the tune they played gave me goosebumps. This was followed by the hearse which held the coffin, made out of wicker. Non of the mourners wore black, which looked very unusual.
I found the announcement of the death in the local paper and it stated that Gillian, who died of cancer, requested donations to the local cancer hospital instead of flowers, and that no one was to wear black. I was glad to see her wishes were carried out.
I didn't know the lady, though he maiden name was familiar. But I think any funeral makes you stop and think.
RIP Gillian, you went out in style!

Clip is of a typical funeral marching band:

I lost 3lb!!! making my total so far 2 stone!!!

Got some trousers and a T shirt out of the wardrobe that I have NEVER worn! You know the type girls, buy them, they don't fit but you keep them in the hope they will do.... one day. Good job I did, the trousers are a little loose so had I left it longer I would have slimmed out of them.

People are now commenting on how I look so I am very motivated!!!

Apart from waiting for the in laws who are now over 1 hour late arriving!!!!!!