The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were
giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next
day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5 a.m. for an early morning
business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he
wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would
find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of
paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
WIFE VS . HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying
a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
The husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws!"
WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman
wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a
television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with
me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him
legally."
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait
for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the
Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed
says.........."HEBREWS"
God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
I need to see if it settles and if not send another sample off next week. I have gone obsessive about cleaning, even though as my hubby said if it was something I had prepared we would all have got it. As the incubation period is up to 10 days I am struggling to remember if I ate out at all. Apparentley the Environmental Health will call me to ask questions. Annoying as it is, this is certaintly helping my diet. Told my GP I'll keep it till I get down to 10 stone!!!
