As any of you who read my good words blog will see, today's blogs have a certain theme.
Last night following a couple of margharitas at my brothers house we went to the local working mens club (imagine Pheonix nights) and I got reaquainted with an old friend Stella! We met up with my neice and her boyf and suffice to say I drank far more than I should. Totally forgetting A) I'm on pain relief I am totally not used to drinking.
However that didn't stop me, after the club closed, going back to my brother's and drinking more.

As we have Ami n the tots staying, my mum and dad were coming to lunch. Lee had to cook it as just preparing the meat for the oven had me rushing to the bathroom.... I swear I am off the drink

One year ago today my dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer, he had lost stones in weight and we did think last year was his last christmas. As I put on my blog in September, following surgery, and a sticky patch afterwards, he is now to full health. His party trick is to eat food that give him wind so he can blow up his colostomy bag!! At my brother's house last night he was, as usual the life & soul of the party and it took us ages to persuade him to come home with us at 1.30am! Top LadD

Safe return from bro in laws. Good news he and his girlfriend got engaged on Christmas Day
Nothing much happened Few bumps and bangs from parts of the house no one was in, which apparently is a constant!
I did have a strange feeling someone was watching me from the corner of the room whilst sat in the lounge. Nothing nasty just "that" feeling.
Lee's brother had some papers on the history of the house which was very interesting.
Apart from that Dinner was great, curry....yum!

Will play catch up later, off to my eldest brother's tonight to meet his son's girlfriend (feel another announcement coming!)

Off to lee's brother's house tonight, the haunted one!! Lee's mum went yesterday and stayed overnight. She called this morning to say they were home safe an not to worry as everything was quiet. FFS!!! It's a bloody ghost (S) not a serial killer!

You know yesterday, I spent ALL day at the Pc?!? Well, what I was meant to do was wash my jeans, which are now on a radiator, hopefully will be dry intime. Plan B is to wear the ones I have slimmed out of and put on a belt

Frantic call from Ami this morning. Called crack of dawn but only let it ring 3 times in case we were in bed, then called again Her friend who was meant to pick her up had broken down, so she was worried the visit would be off NO WAY!!! I'd have set off after the meal tonight and got her myself!! Santa has left lots of pressies here and I need to see the grand babies. Anyhoo he called her later to say he had a courtesy car and was on his way. YippeeeeD

Hope you are all having a good day, Lee has been off so has spent the day building his guitar, for christmas I bought him some ibanez (?!) parts and he is overhaulin his guitar (least it means it's out of action for a bit ) Abi has been down at my brothers entertaining my nephew so I have had a good afternoon, pottering about, tidying and doing washing. All stops tomorrow as nothing will get done when the babes arrive.

Anyway, my bath is run... see ya

Lee came in at the reasonable time of 7.15pm after his drive from luton. He called in to say he was back and got passed another job!!

Some tosser has a flat tyre and needs his wheel changing.

C;mon....even a woman can change a wheel!!!!!

Since I got up I have been at the PC, blogging, emailing and general surfing the net.

We had (T)rifle for brekkie, Abi asked what I wanted I said anything I got trifle Eldest son went out shopping an brought Abi back a sarnie from Gregs. I did stray long enough to put the tea in the oven in the hope Lee will be home at the promised 7-7.30pm

Thanks Lyndlj for spotting the typo

I made some new friends, read some new blogs and 1/2 arranged a commision with loneparent for a gift. So the day has been constructive

Anyway, I digress. I stumbled across this blog

http://diaryofadivorce.blog.co.uk/

I read todays post and went back to the begining. Kevin is struggling to get this published and decided to blog it. He has said he was thinking of stopping but I have signed up to read the rest.

If you get 5 minutes take a look

Listening to my mums neighbours arguing and furniture throwing on christmas eve led to me and Abi discussing domestic violence. I had a sister trapped in an abusive relationship for 19 years before she felt strong enough to escape.
We discussed that christmas, and indeed weekends, in some houses meant dad would hit mum (or the other way round) I played her Savage Garden and Abi found this on You Tube..

............according to my 11 year old daughter.

We were watching Jesus Christ Superstar on Christmas Eve. Fantastic musical!!!
As we were watching Jesus was singing "Listen surely I've exceeded espectations tried for three years. Seems like thirty" in Gethsemane when Abi turned to her dad and said "I didn't know god was a woman"
"why" asked dad, puzzled as he had been reading
"well jesus just called him Shirley" She answeredD

Jesus then went on to sing "god thy will is hard" and Abi hit the floor laughing. Luckily we have Sky + so Lee and I could pause and rewind to see the cause of her laughter.

Reckon my little girl is growing up

Anyways a bit of music for you!

Someone just sent me this. I've signed, thought you might like to pass it around your friends.

This is the biggest move to tax & infringe on privacy ever proposed in this Country!

If you're a motorist, read on and do your duty!

It was stated on the news this morning (27th November 2006) one of the reasons this proposal has been suggested was to raise money for possible road building and improvements to existing roads. It should be noted thatall the money currently collected by the DVLA for road fund licences, only 23% - 24% is actually spent on road building and improvements!

The government's proposal to introduce road pricing will mean you having to
purchase a tracking device for your car and paying a monthly bill to use it.

The tracking device will cost about £200 and in a recent study by the BBC the lowest monthly bill was £28 for a rural florist and £194 for a delivery driver. A non working Mum who used the car to take the kids to school paid £86 in one month. On top of this massive increase in tax, you will be
tracked. Somebody will know where you are at all times. They will also know how fast you have been going, so even if you accidentally creep over a speed limit you can expect an NIP with your monthly bill. If you care about our freedom and stopping the constant bashing of the car driver, please sign the petition on No 10's new website, sign up here

http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/traveltax/

Hope you all got what you wanted.

Christmas started when we woke the kids at 7.45am (bloody hell we used to be up at 4am!!!!)
Abi was so excited she almost hyperventilated!!!!

Called bro in NZ - check
Sister in Blackpool - check
Called bro down road - check
Visit from bro we call santa (only visits at xmas) - check
Visit from both sets of grandparents to complain kids today get too much - check
Call to Ami to mutually clink a glass of Baileys - check.

Chicken (we don't like turkey) & Pork cooking - check
Burnt potatoes boiling for roasting binned and fresh ones on - check
Veg prepared - check
Hubby netertaining kids by fleecing them at poker - check
Paul Weller on full blast - check
Glass of Port in hand - check

It must be Christmas!!!!

Hope yours is Merry, if not, remember there is probably someone somewhere much worse of than you, and I promise things will get better
xx

http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=ER13610552

LOL, Sophie seems to be faking sleep, perhaps it's safer that way with a big brother?!

Ami sent me these today, and lots more so prepare to be bored D

I survived Meadowhall - Just - it wasn't too bad! Went to doctors and turns out I have a kidney infection....Arrrggghhhhh No wonder i feel shit!

"did" Asda last night. Got to checkout with bulging trolley and girl says "would you like help with your packing"
Me "yes please if there is someone spare"
Her "well there's only me"
Me "ok, thanks"
Did she help, did she feck!!! I packed my shopping, by which time I needed a wee (5th time) I struggled to the car, the phone rang, it was Lee and i burst into tears.

Ain't christmas grand!!!

An old song (from the war for you young uns!)

Am I going to war? No. This is much, much worse.

I am going to Meadowhell or Meadowhall as they prefer to call it.

I will report back, I hope!

AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHH

Blog will not let me reply to nor make comments

Bugger, shit, bollox!

Mine has a different bauble on each branch. I have trains, snowmen santas galore....

I don't do designer. One of my friends has to even have colour co ordinatored pressies underneath

Every year since I left home 23 years ago I have bought a new bauble, I have one from Sweden, Holland, france, one for the birth year of each of my kids. A Lee and I first xmas bauble and a first christmas bauble for Oskar for last year. Today I bought a santa, I liked him because he looked unusual (shaped like a traffic cone)

This year will be Ami's second xmas away from home, once they had Oskar they decided the wanted to spend the day as a family. Tomorrow she is going shopping for her 2006 bauble, Ivo says he wants every branch of their tree to hold a memory like ours does

Tried to take a pic but it came out rubbish so i'll add one later.

Tell me about your tree and family traditions...

Erm..... I lost my stuff!

Yay I found it.

Any advise on this pro stuff would be much appreciated (sp)

The Futureheads - Hounds of Love

Barry from the band is a friend of Ami's. I really like this track and am listening to the whole album...enjoy!

http://customerservice.blog.co.uk/2006/12/19/customer_service_writes_to_richard_littl~1456771

Hi hope you are all well.

Frosty morning here.

Abi skipped off to her last 1/2 day at school. Straight from school she is going out to lunch with her friends. She was quite nervous when she asked. As a rule we don't like her to wander far, she is such a naive little thing but I reckon it's time to let her spread her wings. Only be Mc Dees or the local coffee shop but I imagine she's feeling really grown up today

Lee's day off, though I do have a list of jobs for him This morning we had the pleasure of the Iron Maiden album blasting out. I describe it as music to kill people to as it winds me up. Ah well he's not here much, reckon the guitar will be out soon! By the way neil, he said the support were crap

Anyways have a good day all, I'll leave you with a joke.
The doctor said,

"Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.

The bad news is that it will require castration.

You have a very rare condition,

which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.

The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see...size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit; it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."

Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

" Been in the business 60 years."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see...size 36."

Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second opinion - PRICELESS

Well!

Went to bed at 8pm last night. My delightful 11 year old was stressing me out so I sent her to bed and retired to my bed to read. Lee and Matt were out at the Iron Maiden concert (they enjoyed very much ta!) I was woken up at 12.30am by Lee, to ask if I wanted a coffee. Nice thought but I was asleep

Lee then came to bed an proceeded to snore, so I put on the TV. Film 4 +1 was showing cats and dogs, a top film I haven't seen for ages so I watched that. Because i was awake the pain called for another dose of drugs and at 3am me, the dog and the invisible spiders were on the settee watching crappy films on Sky.

Had a call from my boss this morning, tonight is the management xmas do and I declined the invite. She was telling me how much they would miss me (I do tend to get pished and make a fool of mesen!) and that they would raise a glass to absent friends. Enter two hours of crying and I was doing soooo well.

Had two lots of visits from friends I haven't seen for months to drop off christmas cards so had a nice afternoon of gossip, but am afraid the lack of sleep is catching up on me. Still lee will be in soon, he finished work at 8.30 but is changing the tyres on my nephews car as some pillar of the community slashed all four during the night!

Lee is then off for two whole days, Abi finishes school at 1pm tomorrow so we will have some quality family time, I even promise not to cry!

Avrilo, is my secret Santa for this year. Her blog can be found at:

http://thesingingmidwife.blog.co.uk/

Why not go meet her yourself!

To quote Groucho Marx: A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. It’s been a while since I wrote anything more than the back of a doctor’s note, but here goes.

So I'll begin.....

Avrilo lives in a wooden house in the woods, it sounds a magical place she first joined the land of blog on the 30th November 2005, tempted onto this illicit and immoral world by the blogs of Scoffle.

Avrilo does what it says on the tin (or blog title) she is a midwife, but is currently looking for a different career. She will miss her job though as I feel like any good midwife she does/did it for the pleasure of helping her fellow women through the best and scariest time of their lives.

Avrilo's main passion is singing, she sings in an acapella group called Scarabella, interesting they are all girls (perhaps they are the acapella version of the spice girls). At the moment she is in the process of setting up her own business, offering a personalized song service via the world wide interweb. I feel it will be very successful. She comes across in her blog as a very creative person so I look forward to watching the business grow.

Avrilo’s blog began by her stating the menu of the day in the Avrilo household; Mr Avrilo is one lucky man as many a culinary delight is placed before him on his return from work. I have to admit having to stop to eat whilst reading through the blog entries, her menus sound delicious. The blog has evolved into a mixture of menus, thoughts, creativity and humour.

Avrilo enjoys spending special time with her granddaughters and ensures through their visits they will have memories of their stay, making nana’s house a very special place to be. She enjoys blogging and has made many blog friends, offering support and grateful for support offered to her.

I’m glad I got Avrilo as my secret Santa it was nice to pay her a visit 

The letter below was sent into our local paper by a pupil at my daughter's school:

Sir - As children attending school we are constantly encouraged by our teachers and mentors to take a responsible and active role in our community. We try, we really do, but we make mistakes, probably because we are growing up and only learning how to live and act in your adult society.
You think chirdren should be mini adults and many people are quick to criticise us for makig errors and mistakes in our lives but that is sometimes how children learn.
You blame us for the litter on our streets but will not provide us with litter bins.
You blame us for hanging around on the street at night, but you close our schools at night for evening activities and let the minority of anti-social people smash our parks and amenities then blame us all because you do not have enough community police officers to deal with the incidents.
You spend thousands of pounds on speed cameras but you will not spend enough money on putting up cameras in Clifton park to catch the vandals and perverts that roam the area designed for us but through your inaction prevents us from using them.
You close three swimming pools and then say we do not do enough sport.
These are adult decisions in an adult world yet you make all children responsible in sharing the blame for a disruptive few. Why do you not apply the same rules in your adult world?
We ask 2010 Rotherham Ltd to take down the signs and deal with the culprits who play anti-socially and stop penalising all the children all the time enjoying recreational public green space.
What Rotherham Borough Councillors forget in their arrogance is that we children live in your adult world, the world you made and the world we have only known since we were born into it.
We live in these sad depressed areas that YOU created not us. They are your laws, adult laws that young people try to abide by.
We were not even born as you shaped our Rotherham. They are your broken down sports facilities, your dilapidated services, your potholed roads we have to cycle on.
Yet you blame, blame and blame children and young people. Look at yourselves please for a change and make yourselves accountable to the people you so bashfully represent.
You expect children to respect you as adults and then reply by disrespecting us as children. You have not consulted us or taken into account our views. Give us back our safety, our grass, our play areas, our public space.
The borough councillors would do well to remember you may well treat children with contempt today and get away with it, but one day, not so long in the future, today's leaders will be old and we will be the people in the positions of reponsibility you hold so dear.
You might well find the lessons you dish out now are the rules of the future we play by when it comes to addressing your concerns as pensioners. Remember the saying you so often teach children, you reap what you sow?
Katie Fulcher

Hi

Hope you are all well. Nothing to blog as I haven't been anywhere or done anything. So I thought I would share one of my fave christmas songs with you:

:D
Beethoven's Symphony

A tourist in Vienna is going through a cemetery and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.
He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realises that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backwards! Puzzled, he leaves the cemetery and persuades a friend to return with him.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backwards.

Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backwards. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.

By the next day word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backwards.

Just then the cemetery's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's just decomposing!"

Scottish Hospital

An English doctor is being shown around a Scottish hospital. At the end of his visit, he's shown into a ward with a number of patients who show no obvious signs of injury. He goes to examine the first man he sees, and the man proclaims:
"Fair fa' yer honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o'the puddin' race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place, painch tripe or thairm:
Weel are ye worthy o' a grace as lang's my arm...."

The doctor, being somewhat taken aback, goes to the next patient, who immediately launches into:

"Some hae meat, and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit."

This continues with the next patient:

"Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie,
O what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty, wi bickering brattle
I wad be laith to run and chase thee, wi murdering prattle!"

"Well," said the Englishman to his Scottish colleague, "I see you saved the psychiatric ward for last."

"No, no, no," the Scottish doctor corrected him, "this is the Serious Burns Unit."

In the beginning was the plan
And then came the assumptions
And the assumptions were without form
And the plan was completely without substance
And the darkness was upon the face of workers
And they spoke among themselves, saying
"It is a crock of sh*t and it stinketh."
And the workers went upon their supervisors and sayeth,
"It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odour thereof."
And the supervisors went unto their managers and sayeth unto them
"It is a container of excrement and it is very strong,
Such that none may abide by it."

And the managers went unto their directors and sayeth,
"It is a vessel of fertiliser, none may abide its strength."
And the directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another,
"It contains that which aid plant growth, and it is very strong."
And the directors went unto the vice presidents and sayeth unto them,
"It promotes growth and is exceedingly powerful."

And the vice presidents went unto the president and sayeth unto him,
"This new plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency
of this company, and these areas in particular."
And the president looked upon the plan,
And saw that it was good, and the plan became policy,

And this is how sh*t happens