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Torn by Johan Lippowitz with Natalie Imbruglia
Regarding my passport application!
Dear Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport but I am a total loss to
understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through.
How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke has my address and
telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them back
in 1994, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and
on what date?
How come that nice West African immigrant chappy who comes round every
Thursday night with his DVD rentals van can tell me every film or video
I have had out since he started his business up eleven years ago, yet
you still want me to remind you of my last three jobs, two of
which were
with contracts working for the government?
How come the T.V. detector van can tell if my T.V. is on, what channel I
am watching and whether I have paid my licence or not, and yet if I win
the government run lottery they have no idea I have won or where I am
and will keep the bloody money to themselves if I fail to claim in good
time.
Do you people do this by hand?
You have my birth date on numerous files you hold on me, including the
one with all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30-odd years.
It's on my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last four
passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've
had to fill out before being allowed off the planes and boats over the
last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done
every ten years and the electoral registration forms I have to complete,
by law, every time our lords and masters are up for
re-election.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, I was born in
Maidenhead on the 4th of March 1957, my mother's name is Mary, her
maiden name was Reynolds, my father's name is Robert, and I'd be
absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and the day I die!
I apologise Minister. I'm obviously not myself this morning. But between
you and me, I have simply had enough! You mail the application to my
house, then you ask me for my address. What is going on? Do you have a
gang of Neanderthals working there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look
like Bin Laden? I don't want to activate the Fifth Reich for God's sake!
I just want to go and park my weary backside on a sunny, sandy beach for
a couple of week's well-earned rest away from all this crap.
Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to back to Salisbury and
get another copy of my birth certificate because you lost the last one.
AND to the tune
of 60 quid! What a racket THAT is!! Would it be so
complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the
issuance of a new passport the same day? But nooooo, that'd be too damn
easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the
place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some tosser to
confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know... the one
where we're not allowed to smile in in case we look as if we are
enjoying the process!
Hey, you know why we can't smile? 'Cause we're totally jacked off!
I served in the armed forces for more than 25 years including over ten
years at the Ministry of Defence in London. I have had security
clearances which allowed me to sit in the Cabinet Office, five seats
away from the Prime Minister while he was being briefed on the first
Gulf War and I have been doing volunteer work for the British Red Cross
ever since I left the Services.
However, I have to get someone
'important' to verify who I am
--
you know, someone like my doctor...
who, before he got his medical degree 6 months ago WAS LIVING IN
PAKISTAN...
Yours sincerely,
An Irate British Citizen
It's been a year
It's been a year since you left the ones you love.
It's been a year that you've been looking down on us from up above.
It's been a year of constant reminder that you're not here.
It's been a year of memories, sorrow and fear.
It's been a year since that horrible night.
It's been a year from when you walked into the light.
It's been a year where we had to be strong everyday.
It's been a year of unspoken words we need to say.
It's been a year since we had to say goodbye.
Where is the good in goodbye when all we do is cry?
It's been a year that has changed all our days.
It's been a year, and we've grown strong in so many ways.
It's been a year where we know you're in a better place.
It's been a year, and we still haven't forgotten your face.
It's been a year of just imagining what it's like up there.
It's been a year since he took you, it just seems so unfair.
It's been a year, but we know you're doing alright.
It's been a year of only seeing you in our dreams at night.
It's been a year, and we want you to know that we love you,
It's been a year.
God Bless Aunty Maureen
Stupidly long me- me
Stolen....from facebook
The Basics
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Bron
Height: 5ft 6
Profession: Tenant Liasion Officer
Relationship Status: Married
Religious Views: Spiritualist
My Favorites
Favorite Color: Green
Favorite Car: Mazda RX8....ain't got one!
Favorite Movie: Against all Odds
Favorite Hobby: Talking to dead people
Favorite Song/Singer: Paul Weller.....English Rose
Favorite Book/Author: Great Expectations.....Charles Dickens
Favorite School Subject: English Language
Favorite Vacation Destination: Egypt
Favorite Food: Italian
Favorite Restaurant: Little italian on Rotherham High Street
Favorite Animal: Dog
Favorite Store: Asda!
Favorite Celebrity : Paul Weller
Favorite Childhood Friend: Mandy Nelson
Favorite Childhood Memory: Picking Bluebells in the woods on Sunday afternoons with dad, my sister & my brother
Favorite Baby Name: Hebe...Lee didn't like it
Favorite Person In Your Life: Lee
This or That
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Big Mac or Whopper: Neither
Coke or Pepsi : Pepsi Max
Beer or Wine: Prefer wine but not allowed
Coffee or Tea: Coffee
Apple Juice or O.J.: OJ
Facebook or MySpace: Facebook
Summer or Winter: Summer
Windows or Mac: Windows
Cats or Dogs: Both
Boxers or Briefs: briefs!
Rain or Shine : Rain
Chips or Popcorn: Chips
Salty or Sweet: Salty unless its popcorn - thats just wrong
Plane or Boat: plane
Morning or Night: Night
Movie or Play: Play
Walk or Drive: These all depend on mood, lazy mood - drive / romantic mood - walk
Money or Love: Love
Breakfast or Dinner: Breakfast
Forgiveness or Revenge: Forgiveness
Paint or Wallpaper: Paint
House or Apartment: House
Do You?
Have Any Pets: 1 dog, 1 cat, 2 fish
Have Any Children: Three
Smoke: Never
Drink: Wish I could
Exercise: Seriosuly need to find time
Play On A Sports Team: No
Belong To Any Organizations: Spiritualist Union
Love Your Job: Some days...praying for a lottery win!
Like To Cook: Love to cook
Play An Instrument: Piano - chopsticks 
Sing: Really badly!
Dance: Oh yes!
Speak Multiple Languages: Yorkshire,,,and posh!
Ice Skate: When I was a teen
Swim: A little
Paint: Nope
Write: Does blog count?
Ski: Never
Juggle: No
Have You Ever
Stolen Anything: Once, some stickers worth 10p and got caught
Been Drunk Before Noon: Used to be, probably still from the night before
Had Sex In A Public Place: Yes
Got Caught Telling A Lie: Probably, I'm really shit at telling lies
Got A Speeding Ticket: Never, I keep a keen eye out for the bill
Been Arrested: Suprisingly no!
Littered: Never
Fantasized About A Co-Worker: Definately
Cheated On A Test: Yes
Cheated In A Relationship: Yes
Wished You Were Someone Else: At times
Cried During A Movie: All the time
Had A One Night Stand: Yes
Other
Describe Yourself In One Word: sad (well I had time to do this)
Biggest Fear: Housefire
Biggest Mistake: Letting my marriage become secondary for a while...fixed now!
Your Proudest Accomplishment: My beautiful children
#1 Priority In Your Life: My family...all ways
Dream Job: Paul Weller's PA
Special Talents:
Where Are You Right Now: Lounge
Where Would You Rather Be: On a beautiful white beach with blue sea and palm trees, surrounded by my family, a glass of something delicious and my grandkids playing happily
Famous Person You Want To Meet: Tony Stockwell
Place To Visit Before You Die: Goa
Song Played At Your Funeral: The Prayer - Celine Dion & Various
Why am I on blog at daft o'clock?
Right the time is 4.30am on a Saturday...............SATURDAY!!!! Why, oh why am I awake????
Lee came in from work at 3am and as I was on his side of the bed he disturbed me
Luckily for him he was gwtting in from work and not the nightclub!!!
At 3.20am Lee's work mobile rang and he got up to go out and assist on a recovery. He then:
Turned the bedroom light on!
His phone rang again!
He sat on the bed......and had a chat to his mate who was already at the job....after what seemed like hours...but was minutes...I said "For feck sake, don't mind me...you just chat away".....he turned the light off and walked down the stairs saying "Sorry mate, our lass was moaning!" ![]()
Anyway off he trots.
I settled down to sleep.....tossed and turned....turned and tossed and tried in vain to A)get back to sleep
stop my mind from replaying what has been a stressful day.......so I got up!
In other news....dad been to hospital, they're pleased with his progress
Matt has once again dislocated his shoulder
and tonight I'm off on a Paranormal Investigation!!!!!!
Will we be burned at the stake??
A change in the law could mean mediums, psychics and healers face prosecution if they cannot justify their claims. Spiritualists are delivering a mass petition to Downing Street and complaining that a genuine religion is being discriminated against
Read it here
As a spiritualist I'm not worried, if this is ever used against the religion then we need to ask when we will be asking other religions for proof of their beliefs. In church people attending the weekly service are asked to pay a freewill donation, as in other churches. We work under 7 principles which I have listed below, along with my definition.
There are sceptics out there that will use this law, like a big stick to attack something they don't understand. I am not naive, there are frauds, people whose sole aim is to benefit from the gift they are given, and by doing so work on ego, hence they lose the gift and rely on cold reading etc.
The Fatherhood of God
By the study of Nature - that is, by trying to understand the Laws of Cause & Effect which govern all that is happening around us - we recognise that there is a creative force in the universe. This force, or energy, not only created the whole universe, but also life itself in its many forms and is continuing to create today. The effects of this eternal creation can be seen around us and this leads us to the evidence that 'God' - 'The Creative Force' - manifests directly, or indirectly, in all things. We know this power as God and as we are part of the Life created by God, we acknowledge God as our Father.
The Brotherhood of Man
Because we all come from the same universal life source we are, in effect, one large family, small individual offshoot from the whole. This means that all mankind is part of a brotherhood. A brotherhood is a community for mutual support and comfort. We are all members of the same divine family. We need to share our joys as well as our burdens; we need to understand the needs of other individuals in order to assist them as part of our service to each other. As we learn to give so must we also learn to receive thereby achieving the necessary balance for our life. We must look not only to the material necessities of our fellow creatures but also to their spiritual needs and help those in need to become strong and worthy of their relationship in the Family of God.
Communion of Spirits and the Ministry of Angels
All religions believe in life after death but only Spiritualism shows that it is true by demonstrating that communication with departed spirits can and does take place. Spiritualist Churches provide one of the venues where communication, through mediumship, is possible and many loved relatives and friends take advantage of this opportunity to continue to take an interest in our welfare. There are also spirit people/teachers who are dedicated to the welfare and service of mankind. Some (e.g. Silver Birch) bring inspiration and teachings whilst others work within the healing ministry.
Continuous Existence of the Human Soul
It is scientifically proven that matter (being part of the creative force, or energy) cannot be destroyed; it merely changes its form. Spirit, as part of the Creative Force is, therefore, indestructible. On the death of the physical body, the spirit continues as an integral part of a world, which interpenetrates our world but in a different dimension. This world is referred to as the Spirit World. In spirit life we have a spirit body, which until we progress far enough, is a replica of our earthly body. We are the same individuals in every way with the same personalities and characteristics and we change only by progression, or otherwise, as a result of our own efforts. Our personal responsibilities do not stop at death.
Personal Responsibility
This principle is the one which places responsibility for wrongful thoughts and deeds where it belongs - with the individual. It is the acceptance of responsibility for every aspect of our lives and the use to which we place our lives depends entirely upon ourselves. It is not possible for any other person, or outside influence, to interfere with our spiritual development, unless we are willing to allow this. No one can put right the wrongdoing except the offender. As we are given freedom of choice (freewill) so also are we given the ability to recognise what is right from what is wrong. We are totally, as well as personally, responsible.
Compensation and Retribution hereafter for all Good and Evil Deeds done on Earth
As with all the other Principles, the natural laws apply and this one echoes the law of Cause and Effect (as you sow, so shall you reap). One cannot be cruel and vindictive towards others and expect love and popularity in return. It must be understood that the compensatory or retributive effects of this law operate now -on earth - they do not wait until we begin to live in the Spirit World.
Eternal Progress open to every Human Soul
In every heart there exists the desire for progress and to every human spirit belongs the power to progress in wisdom and love.
All who desire to tread the path that leads to perfection are able to pursue it. The rate of progress is directly proportional to the desire for mental and spiritual understanding. If we do our best in earth life to follow our inward prompting or intuitions; we shall find progress very easy, on earth as in spirit; if not, every step in advancement will follow a struggle against imperfections, which we ourselves will have worked into our natures. Within the Family of God, with all the advantages that our realisation of that state can give us, we are all given the opportunity to be responsible for our own eternal progress.
What are your thoughts?
I was expecting this................................
But still sad..........at least he's with the girl he loved
The body of a man, believed to be missing TV presenter Mark Speight, has been found in a remote area of London's Paddington station, police have said.
The rest here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7345486.stm
Stolen from Landers.......one word meme
One
Word.
You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.
Not as easy as you might think. Remember: one word answers.
Where is your mobile phone? Pocket
Your significant other? Reliable
Your hair? Messy
Your mother? Confused
Your father? Inspirational
Your favourite thing? Life
Your dream last night? Strange
Your favorite drink? Coffee
Your dream/goal?
The room you're in? Dining
Your ex? Tosser
Your fear? Loss
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Cornwall
Where were you last night? Babysitting
What you're not? Slim
One of your wish list items? Decking
Where you grew up? House
The last thing you did? Toast
What are you wearing? jammies
Your TV? Dusty
Your pets? Dog
Your computer? Laptop
Your life? Rollercoaster
Your mood? Sleepy
Missing someone? No
Your car? Convertable
Something you're not wearing? Shoes
Favourite Store? Hamleys
Your summer? Wedding
Like someone? Heaps
Your favourite colour? Green
Last time you laughed? Just
Last time you cried? Friday















